Saturday, December 30, 2006

she sings...

...and i hear through the walls

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

anniversary!

one-year.
done.

how do you do today?

Saturday, December 09, 2006

my life one year go

possible book titles:

1. bend or break: private quiet memories that less come and more go
2. how to reach the rod: self-help for the uninitiated

possible life-altering moments:

1. the day i forgot our anniversary
2. the day i lost-my-wander-lust
3. the day i realized that i'm insanely jealous and insecure about my friends

possible achievements:

1. the art of lying
2. the art of working

Monday, November 13, 2006

depression

i'm in depression today
my heart is hurting
sinking
and staying there
it is not going away only
what to do?

Thursday, October 26, 2006

who's the judge?

Sudden start
Things are slow
You're watching all these speeding cars
Moving like you wish you could
But oh, it's too bad
Cos they drove away your happiness and good times

But I'm gonna get you into the light
And I'm gonna find a way that is right
And I'm gonna get you into the light
And make it okay

Sad eyes
You are the only one whose blue skies are grey
So don't cry
You'll be the only one to make them go
away

You're so young
And so bored
You are staying now till late cos he was what your husband hated
But oh, it's too bad
Cos he has stolen now all your happiness and good times

But I'm gonna get you into the light
And I'm gonna find a way that is right
And I'm gonna get you into the light
And make it okay

Sad eyes
You are the only one whose blue skies are grey
So don't cry
You'll be the only one to make them go away
Yeah you could make them go away

It took a lot of tears
But oh, you had to find those
Sympathetic years
The ones you left behind him (x2)

But I'm gonna get you into the light
And I'm gonna find a way that is right
And I'm gonna get you into the light
And make it okay

Sad eyes
You are the only one whose blue skies are grey
So don't cry
You'll be the only one to make them go away (x2)

Things are gonna go away
Yeah they're gonna go your way
All about to go your way

—Josh Rouse

Monday, October 09, 2006

acrylic amla (lies all lies)

it's official then. i didn't get the visa.
insufficient funds they say. fucking bureaucrats.
i had 90% given up hope when mr. kakaria said it is difficult.
i should have come earlier. i should have done this. i should have done that.

what i should really do is open a travel agency!

Friday, October 06, 2006

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

...sad everything else



updates of the season:
-> panic
-> more panic
-> sick fucking bastardly panic

many many developments

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

happy monsoons!

Now at last I know
What a fool I've been
For I've lost the last love
I shall ever win

And/Now at last I see
How my heart was blind
To the joys before me
That I left behind

When the wind was fresh
On the hills
And the stars were new in the sky
And a lark was heard in the still
Where was I
Where was I

When the spring is cold
Where do robins go
What makes winters lonely
Now at last I know

When the wind was fresh
On the hills
And the stars were new in the sky
And a lark was heard in the still
Where was I
Where was I

When the spring is cold
Where do robins go
What makes winters lonely
Now at last I know

—Feist

Monday, May 29, 2006

mushaboom

i feel like this every monday
whether or not i am pms-ing

foul foul foul
fuck fuck fuck

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Saturday, May 06, 2006

superman

i never thought they'd break up
never ever

--
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird...i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

Its not easy to be me

—Five for Fighting

Monday, May 01, 2006

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

blaise bailey finnegan III

my fingers and his hair have lost our dance.
just like that.

Monday, March 27, 2006

twine_untwine_intertwine

i saw many signs
i followed them all
now, i'm lost

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

meaning

dear v,

i felt shocked.
i felt elated.
i felt loved.

thank you.

love,
j

Friday, March 10, 2006

lu-lulu-lucs-luci-luca-kitter

we got her cat. her name is luca.
we got her three days ago.
she was sick but is getting better.
they say she was abandoned. i really hope she really was.

dear luca's mother,

we have luca. we feed her cat food. and gave her medicine. and lots of milk.
we almost treat her like she is human.
how is it that you cared for her?

i wish i could be her kitten friend instead of her human friend. i have a lot of questions. for example, is it the same for a cat living with humans as a human living with cats. the same lonliness i mean. and at what age should we find her other cat friends? and if she's domesticated, will she survive on her own a few months from now, if she's stronger?

do reply soon.

love,
j

Sunday, February 26, 2006

black awards

She and only she is the audience of my words.
---

dear s,

i was wrong.

love,
j

---

I hate glaring back at people who glare at me in trains.

---

“…the only thing larger than his love was his hope”
—from The Last Song of Dusk

---

Why is it that when people write about gay people, or even portray them in films, one of the first things they show is anal sex. Does it always have to be about the sex, whether glorified or looked down upon? Is it that hard to think beyond? To think of love, perhaps?

---

Ok. I’m in. 100%. No fudging. I swear.

---

Have you ever seen a pineapple fly?

Saturday, February 25, 2006

his letters

Alpha
Bravo
Charlie
Delta
Echo
Foxtrot
Golf
Hotel
India
Kilo
Lima
Mike
November
Oscar
Papa
Quebec
Romeo
Sierra
Tango
Uniform
Victor
Whiskey
X-ray
Yankee
Zulu

Friday, February 24, 2006

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Saturday, February 18, 2006

it's all over now baby blue

it's all back to normal.
we'll be o-kay.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

banana pancakes

i didn't even know i was there until i coughed.















(i sent it so i could remember)

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

grab

living in bombay is like living like a dog
finding a patch of sand on a cement road

happy v day

My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet you’re my favourite work of art

Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But don’t change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentine’s day

Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But don’t you change one hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentine’s day

—Frank

Monday, February 13, 2006

dillagi mein jo beet jaye

i don't feel good at all. no fucking scruples. fuck you j. you just have to start thinking. start being a little less selfish. a little more considerate. a lot more control. really, fuck you.

tuck-dell

1947 earth. 36 chowrangee lane. 8 1/2. 8 mm. a very long engagement. adaptation. amelie. apu trilogy. blue. bombay. chandni bar. children of heaven. cinema paradiso. donny darko. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. fear and loathing in las vegas. kill bill. maria full of grace. hazaron khwaishein aisi. il postino. lock stock and two smoking barrels. memento. mr and mrs iyer. mullholland drive. pulp fiction. red. requiem for a dream. rashomon. run lola run. sex and lucia. satya. snatch. the bicycle thief. the elephant man. the motorcycle diaries. the sound of music. trainspotting. waking life. white. y tu mamá también

what else is there?

Friday, February 10, 2006

the ground beneath her feet (acoustic)

All my life, I worshipped her
Her golden voice, her beauty's beat
How she made me feel, how she made us real
And the ground beneath her feet
And the ground beneath her feet

And now I can't be sure of anything
Black is white and cold is heat
For what I worshipped stole my love away
It was the ground beneath her feet
It was the ground beneath her feet

Go lightly down your darkened way
Go lightly underground
I'll be down there in another day
I won't rest until you're found

Let me love you, let me rescue you
Let me bring you where two roads meet
Oh come back above
Where there is only love
Only love...

—U2

homesick

why is it that i love her more when i'm alone with her
in a crowd, she, she sometimes loses her magic

to be together
to not compete

those are my current dreams

Thursday, February 09, 2006

switch_foot

finally. our first job. our first client.

rolling balls
falling thunder

damn, it feels good!

Monday, February 06, 2006