Sunday, April 19, 2009

"The Year of Held Breath"

It was the year of tufted grasses. It was the year of questions. It was the year of fog over the vineyard. The year you started falling. A damaged year. It was the year of sails in the distance and knots here. It was the year without refuge. It was the year of bog orchids, early runoff, unaccountable swelling. It was the year of sweet peppers in August and patience, a year without diagnosis. It was the year of storms on both sides of the window, of your pain. It was a year without skin. A year of testing. It came without warning or instructions. It was the year of swallows caked under the bridge, of difficulty swallowing. It was the year of small foxes, white pelicans, one brown pelican far from its coast. Outside, the war deepened but we couldn't turn our faces to it. It was a year of drought. It was a year without syntax or punctuation. It was the year of disarray. It was the year of mountains looking away, seeming to look away.

~Veronica Patterson

(the year that will be.)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

"I Had Been a Polar "

I had been a polar explorer in my youth
and spent countless days and nights freezing
in one blank place and then another. Eventually,
I quit my travels and stayed at home,
and there grew within me a sudden excess of desire,
as if a brilliant stream of light of the sort one sees
within a diamond were passing through me.
I filled page after page with visions of what I had witnessed—
groaning seas of pack ice, giant glaciers, and the windswept white
of icebergs. Then, with nothing more to say, I stopped
and turned my sights on what was near. Almost at once,
a man wearing a dark coat and broad-brimmed hat
appeared under the trees in front of my house.
The way he stared straight ahead and stood,
not shifting his weight, letting his arms hang down
at his side, made me think that I knew him.
But when I raised my hand to say hello,
he took a step back, turned away, and started to fade
as longing fades until nothing is left of it.

~Mark Strand

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

how to decide so plainly?

on the one had i have the chance to totally change everything -- sell my car -- give away my stuff -- do astronomy -- become an astronomer -- move to a new country -- live there for a few years -- take boredom as it comes -- jobs as they come -- lovers as they come -- and wait for the future to hit me

on the other, i can very decisively go away only for a year, or maximum 2 -- learn education in ICT or ICT in education -- maybe take a film course -- come back -- share office space -- ride in my car -- start building my small business -- struggle -- find a house -- settle down -- if i want i can marry -- and help change the face of education in India ;)

and then there is learn education in ICT or ICT in education -- maybe take a film course -- start working abroad with small cool firms -- go to africa -- then finland -- or wherever -- take boredom as it comes -- jobs as they come -- lovers as they come -- and wait for the future to hit me

what the fuck to do. which dream to live? what do i want!!!
i don't know. i really don't.
how to keep all options open?

"In the Desert"

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said: "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter - bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

~Stephen Crane

Monday, April 06, 2009

happy birthday sparky

sparky turns 1 today
how i love this girl
never thought i could love a machine
but i do
for all the 13,400 kilometers we have traveled together
bounding between colaba and malad and kandivali and pune and lonavala and alibaug and a little further down the konkan coast
shining in the rain
burning in the sun
getting all banged up
and washed out
oh how i love this girl

happy birthday sparky

'it seems that j is going to leave'

leave this city
and then the country
and her friends
and her family
and her many loves
and her work
and her spark, the all-spark
and her furniture
and her wall hangings
and her paintings and drawings
and her imaginary friends
and her voice
and her lakes
and her drama
and her true love
and some of her dreams
all to make new ones

suddenly, it's all happening so fast