it's different from love in that you don't fall in love with the person first, decide they're the one, and then get married
and it's different from arranged or arranged-love where a family member or friend introduces you to him or her and then you date some before you decide if they're the one, and then get married.
self-arranged is where you meet someone when you are of marriageable age and do all the assessing on your own
and then say, i know i don't love you and were just friends and all, but you seem to fit the bill so let's spend some time together, and maybe, three of four dates later, you decide if they're the one, and then get married.
i think i'm really on to something here. the self-arranged marriage.