i might just stop

You’re right about the PMS. It’s definitely the PMS. Sometimes people PMS all their lives through, but that’s a different discussion—one that Sharad will not be involved in. (HEH!). Anyway, I have thought a lot about needing people. So there are some people you need and some you don’t. Once that is established, there’s the whole angle of the people you need needing you.

Now the word “need” is tricky. It has magnitude, intensity, quality, and a zillion other variables attached to it. So while in some cases, a mere sms can fulfill the need, in other cases, even marriage doesn’t suffice. Though the idea of being self-sufficient is very appealing (i.e., like Sarin), I think it gets in the way of hedonistic pursuits. And hedonism is such liberation! So its pleasurable to drink with someone, talk to someone, have sex, make out, etc. There are people who serve this purpose; hence you need those people.

So if you don’t serve that purpose for them.. how personally should you take it? How much misery can inflict on yourself for not being able to serve a purpose? It could mean the end of your life; alternatively, it’s like not being able to fly a kite. (The kite example is a mere fluke. Any association to any person, living or dead, is purely co-incidental). So kite-flying is not your forte! “Sorry kite, I can’t fly you.” Will the kite remain grounded for life? Will the kite find a new flyer? That’s the kite’s prerogative. At this juncture, you detach yourself from the kite. The kite’s flight has no bearing on yours.

What I’m trying to say here is there are times in life when you have treat people like detached kites. It might make you feel like you are dispassionate, sick, passive, a dead insect or worse. But that’s what you feel when you PMS, right?

So its not big deal! Its just PMS

Veena